Toxic parents & How to deal with them



There are many different types of parents and some are extremely toxic and create harmful environments for their children.

As a society we put rose coloured glasses over the family .

I will be exploring different types of toxic parents so you can identity if your parents either have toxic traits or are distinctively toxic.

1. The controlling type.


  • You don’t do things the exact way they want you to do them.

  • They believe that their way is the right way this could lead to physical abuse.

  • These are the types of parents you hate being around as you feel like you are being micromanaged and punished for making mistakes. It’s hard dealing with controlling parents.

  • The best way is to slowly and subtly create boundaries.

  • You would be surprised by the small ways that you can stand up for yourself. However, this is all dependent on context if a situation becomes far too physical and violent DO NOT hesitate to call the police. I say this from a personal standpoint: don't let anyone threaten you physically or mentally.

2. The enabler.

The parent that enables bad behaviour from the other parent. Trying to keep the peace by only allowing toxic and abusive behaviour to stay dormant.


3. The one with the favourites

I guess this is harder to distinguish as some parents are very obvious with which sibling they favour. Sometimes it’s not all about favouritism just about the comparison between how you are treated and how they are treated.

  • An example of this is if you and your sibling (younger or older) are having an argument, one sibling is clearly in the wrong but that parents sides or ‘empathises’ with their feelings more than your own. It may not sound that toxic but when your feelings are constantly getting invalidated and put up against someone else’s it will more than likely make you feel as your feelings are not valid. And that is wrong. #gaslighting

4: The parents that spoils

I am sure if you have parents that spoil you, you probably confused why this is here.

Honestly,I am not judging you but at the same time I am. When parents spoil their children to an unhealthy degree it will undoubtedly have negative effects. Children who were spoilt at a young age will expect the world to treat them the same way as their parents did.

  • Spoilt brats out there (please do not get offended) just don’t be shocked if your peers tell you that they don’t get the same treatment you do.

Balance is the key.


5. The ‘be grateful’ types

This is probably the most aggravating one! Another form of gaslighting, you can be grateful but still want more.

You can be grateful and still be unhappy with a situation. The grateful types of parents will inflict their own negative projection of themselves to mask their child’s needs, wants and desires.


In conclusion being a parent isn’t easy but life isn’t easy for children either.

I mean think about it one minute you’re an egg and the next you’re a living breathing HUMAN. With thoughts, feelings and emotions. Connecting the dots between your parents and yourself will help you grow and heal old wounds. Even if you’re a parent reading this and you feel targeted, that may be a sign you need to look inwards. Also, figuring out how your parents treated you and how their parents treated them will create a long branch on a tree of understanding and knowledge.

Support + more information.


- 7 types of parental abuse :

https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2016/12/7-types-of-parental-abuse#1


- Crisis hotlines :

https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/crisis-hotlines


- Identifying toxicity :

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a29609819/signs-of-toxic-family/


- How to deal with them:

https://www.headspace.com/articles/toxic-family