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Five Toxic Phrases- Charis.Clarissa


Here lies

the toxic five, the phrases that we may use on our day to day basis that make people cringe or rethink their whole entire existence. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we really do need to rethink and reevaluate. But not to the extent where it is unhealthy and well toxic .

Number 1:‘I feel sorry for you’

This phrase does not solve any perceived issues of the person you are ‘feeling sorry for’ instead it makes things worse. Why? You may ask, let me tell you. The idea of someone opening up to you about their personal situations in MY personal opinion is to look for positive validation. That yes, what they may be going through is rough but constantly voicing how shit their circumstances it doesn’t provide a solution. Hell, sometimes it’s all about listening to someone instead of trying to twist it with your own perspective.

The people who fail to understand this are most likely the types of people to make every situation about themselves.

Instead of exercising empathy and understanding.

In conclusion it can be patronising.

Number 2: You’re pretty but-

This one is easy.

I’m pretty, there is no buts no what ifs. The backhanded compliments are not needed. Sidenote: I have had people come up to my face and dissect my appearance. It was creepy.

Number 3: You’re not good enough

I think a lot of people say this to themselves more than anything. However, I am well aware that with various extracurricular activities that are rather harsh and competitive. It’s up to you if you can adapt to that environment.

Number 4: They’re nice to me so…

This phrase can be toxic because you are telling your ‘friend’ or acquaintance that their conflict with someone else is invalid because to YOU that person is an angel. The type of people who repeatedly say this phrase are nine times out of ten self centred. I have had ‘friends’ like these and they would never have your back on anything but they would always be able to sympathise with your perpetrators. But never you. Never you.

Number 5: I’m not racist my friends friend is black.

This applies to all minorities in society. Having a gay best friend does not mean you can’t be homophobic. Listening to Kpop and being in love with BTS doesn’t mean you love all Asians. Liking rap music doesn’t mean you don’t have internalised racism for black people. In my experience the worst racists were ones with ethinc minorities friends. It’s a shame as you would think they would be more empathetic but nope.

Disclaimer for those with small brains. This does not apply to all situations this is to encourage more self awareness and just common sense.

Blog post written by: C theconsciousthoughts

Image from Unsplash!

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