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How to know if your 'friend' is a HATER

They look like the world is ending when you tell them about your successes.

This usually happens when your friend downplays your successes and tries to minimise your achievement and hard work. It can also look them these types of friends who are in secret competition with you, instead of being supportive they sort of had arse it. They pick out minuscule things to undermine your work. As a creative you can imagine that this has happened to me a few times, I always like to either write, design or edit something and when that project whether big or small has reached a milestone I like to share.

One interesting example was a comment made by someone, a 'friend' suggested that my characters name ( in my book) was not a good name because it's not 'moanable'.

*Yeah I know odd*

Another way of finding out of your friend is a hater is testing them. I wanted to see how ex secondary schools friends would react to me feeling nervous/awkward about starting a brand new school I put up something 'negative' about my experience in my first few days.

They all responded not happy to help but happy to exacerbate my 'problems' to try and make me feel bad for going to a new school to develop myself as an individual.

However, when I had put something up about me finding new friends and settling in well it was radio silent.

*Hmm I wonder why*

There were other red flags from before, I just wanted to prove it to myself.

"Did you hear what so and so said about you?"

No but you clearly did. I call these types of friends reporters, they report back to you all the horrible things someone has said about you behind your back. This is a major red flag and it's honestly pretty disgusting. The best types of friends are the friends who have the courage to defend you when you're not around. It also makes you wonder if they were partaking in these discussions. I have no problem defending people who are my friends, people who deserve it but if that energy is not returned it becomes very exhausting, keeping a high level of loyalty for people who are unworthy of it. These leads you to ask the questions.

Would good friends continually report the bad mouthing about you to you? Or would they be there to support you?!

They are copy cats

They begin to copy your style of dress, how you talk, the way you walk. These friends are keeping tabs on your every room not because they want to be inspired by who you are but be an off brand, BTEC version. The strangest thing is that these friends may have no problem critiquing how you live and what you wear but still aim to be a mirror image of you. - Creepy

They are always want to get an reaction out of you - a negative one

The subheading just speaks for itself the solution to this is easy give them a reaction when they least expect it. The look of embarrassment and shock will be a priceless memory that your brain will happily store in your mind for eternity. 💛

They always want to be 'neutral'

Someone could have said and done the most horrible thing to you but they still want to be 'neutral'. I dislike people like this deeply and I tend to avoid them as friends and treat them like they have the plague. They think that not defending you is a way of them being 'level headed', by not picking a side is picking a side. Yes there will be some situations where you have no business stepping into but 99.9% of the time these people also want you to defend them and stand by them.

Yep. Nope.

Nit picking

They nit pick all of your decisions and I mean ALL of them.

Similar to the copy cat one, they pick apart how you do everything. I used to know a handful of 'friends' who liked to judge and pick apart how I spent my money. I don't feel the need to go into all the little details but it got to the point where they openly judged how much I spent on necessities like food. Personally, I like to think that I have good spending habits, I know this sign is an uncommon one but it's definitely pretty huge.

Nothing screams HATER more than this.

Well that's all folks.

These were my personal favourites *insert eye roll*. Moral of the story is, don't hang around with hater 'friends' as you may begin to hate yourself and that's not good.

I will be coming back from France when you are reading this! Post will be out about how to save for your first trip abroad. Anyways au revoir.

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